i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
