You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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