What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
