Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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