Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
