I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
