he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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