Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
