your parents love me but you hate me
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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