i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
