turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
