I want to stick my p in your. b.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Randomize
