so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
we made out on top of his cat.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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