if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
