your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
