Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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