my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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