Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
