me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
