I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
