I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
