he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
