its not stalking. its research.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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