He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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