I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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