This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
