Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
