I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My bed smells like the plague
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
