you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
