I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
