So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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