the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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