it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Life is so much better after having sex.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
