I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
