im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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