This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
