honey bunches of taint.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
