I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
