I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
