YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
