Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
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