is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
