Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
