After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
