Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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