He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
