And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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