my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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