so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
