College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
